What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
