**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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