I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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