i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
