is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
