I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Is Oprah even human
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
