I didn't shave. On purpose
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
