i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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