The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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