help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
True strength comes from lack of pants
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
