Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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