READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
