My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
