I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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