I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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