hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
