Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
