Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize