Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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