She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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