This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
