I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
