Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
