I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
