Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
