i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
