I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
