we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize