We won't sleep together?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
