She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
