I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
