Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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