oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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