The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
