somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
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The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
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You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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