Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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