Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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