listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
