You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
