You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
