So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
