the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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