Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
im holly from the hills drunk
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
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