sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
