I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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