I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You've changed since you got that strap on
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
