Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
