Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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