Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
