apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
