It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
