i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
