New invention idea: vibrating tampons
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Houston, we have a squirter
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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