Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i think i just lost a toe
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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