Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize