3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
