i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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