You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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