I bet he comes in French.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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