I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
