I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize