Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize