honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
